Sunday, September 5, 2010
If I'm not the problem, there is no solution.
So. This fourth step is definitely doing it's job and kicking my ass. Hello character defects and self awareness...nice to meet you. I am not finding it comfortable looking the ugliest parts of me in the face, not one bit...same recurring themes over and over and over. But, seeing them on paper and talking about them with another person has sure given me some motivation to try practicing something different, hopefully with different results. It's letting me let go of all those old resentments and see that I had a huge part in most of them.. Today, I don't want to repeat the patterns that have kept me trapped in my cycle of anger and self-pity (NA Step Working Guide p 34),. Instead, I will be asking the Great and Powerful Oz for courage, courage to change me, because as I heard once, "if I'm not the problem, there is no solution".
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