Saturday, November 27, 2010

Long Weekend...

Love, love, love these kids, but...4 four cold, rainy days and my patience is starting to dwindle. From experience, I will not be praying for patience. I think instead, I will be doing a lot of pausing and asking for the right thought or action. In this moment, regrouping as we sit in the car with a dead battery. Gotta love opportunities to practice being my best self. Thank you.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

good reminder

I was reminded today that I take that first drink in my mind long before I actually relapse. I have had 4 people in my life in the past two weeks 'go out' and the similarities in their story are no coincidence...stop going to meetings, stop talking honestly to others about what's going on, stop working with general a loss of willingness to do the things necessary to have a daily reprieve. Complacency in my recovery, thinking I don't need to do this stuff on the regular, will get me to that dangerous place that when shit does hit the fan, I have absolutely no defense against it. My recovery and my peace are directly proportional to the amount of my effort and my willingness. My fit spiritual conditional is not based on my yesterday's efforts, but rather, what I have done today. With that, coffee and reading, prayer, and meditation here I come.

Sunday, November 7, 2010


I am so filled with gratitude today. I absolutely love my life. It's not because I have money, a great house, my dream job, but because of the peace and love that have become such a daily presence in it.

When I came into recovery I never imagined how completely different my life could be. I really expected nothing more than to learn how to stop drinking. Actually, let's be honest. I hope you people would show me how to do it successfully. I didn't know that I had a living problem. What I have learned in Alcoholics Anonymous is how to do my life differently, how to walk through it, instead of checking out. I have gained the ability to find peace amongst the chaos. I have learned that suffering is optional, as is finding happiness. Today I choose to be willing to find my joy, despite my circumstances. It is a fantastic place to be and I am loving this journey!

Friday, November 5, 2010

missing this

My internet has been out for a week and blogging on this phone drives me crazy! I am feeling the difference in my peace and serenity not getting my thoughts out this way! I talked to my sponsor last night and she was like, your journal's not broken is it...actually that's not exactly what she said. She is much more tactful, but that's what I heard. So, I journaled. I felt better. I am so stubborn sometimes. I am still missing blogland though!

Monday, November 1, 2010


"Finding the right balance between our duties and our intersts takes daily attention. It is perhaps our greatest struggle." Daily Meditation for Women.