It is so easy forget, to get caught up in the everyday events of my life and in my self will to try to run it all, try to force what I want to happen. It is easy for me to forget that my best ideas are the ones that had me drinking at 7 in the morning and thinking that my life was just fine. I still can't believe how insane my thinking can be at times when I take back my willingness.
The difference today is, when I get quiet and sit with my HP, instead of crazy Melissa, I can get out of my will and feel the will the universe has for me. I don't always know what the 'right' course of action is, I am still extremely impatient to see what my life has in store for me, and my self will still rears its ugly head...but, today...I can listen to that quiet voice inside me, I can surrender the outcome, and I can trust that my will is not always in line with what is best for me.
Today I got a glimpse of what my path may be, why I have been doing the things I have been doing, why things have worked out just as they have and what the universe has been preparing me for. It is not what I expected it to look like, but it is amazing none the less. I am grateful today for all the practice my HP has been giving me, preparing me for what's next, helping me to become the woman I was meant to be. Grateful to see evidence that doing the next right thing and surrendering the outcome works. Let go and let G.O.D.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
ReplyDeleteOn another note until AA I thought I was the only one who drank at 7am... I LOVE this new group of people who get me :)
It still amazing me that after feeling so terminally unique my entire life, I hear my story and my inner most thoughs shared by someone else every single day in AA. What an awesome deal!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for being a part of my recovery today.