This day has been exhausting. First, my car would not start and then I found out that checks I have been expecting to come for weeks will not be coming...FANTASTIC!! I am so tired of struggling financially. Really?? Does it have to be this hard??
I can let go of the fear. I can trust that it will all work out. I know that I won't be dropped on my ass. But, I would love it if it didn't feel like such a daily battle. It seems like just as I put one fire out another starts. I need to remind myself that it was never promised that life would stop happening, just that I would be able to deal with it with some semblance of grace and have serenity through it. This promise is based on my willingness to do what's in my control, the next right thing, and surrender the outcome...trusting that everything is not going to be alright, it already is.
Okay...panic attack over. This God box is getting full!! What I have found out by looking back through old deposits is that all that stuff that felt like such a big deal in the moment, has since passed. I survived it, walked through it without a drink or a drug and came out on the other side with a stronger sense of faith that things might not always go the way I have them envisioned, but I am always taken care of.