In the midst of it all, no one could have convinced me that I was not a present mother. I was there everyday. I made breakfast, lunch and dinner. I took them to school. I picked them up. They got bathed every night, teeth brushed, clean clothes. There are plenty of pictures to prove my existence.
What those pictures won't show is that I was at least a bottle deep at any given moment. My body was there. I performed my duties, filled with resentment. I sat there outside every night in that vacant drunk cloud, in that blue chair, watching them play, glass in hand. I was there, but I wasn't, not really.
My day today...I took them to school. I picked them up. I made dinner. They got baths, teeth brushed, clean clothes. Pictures to prove my existence. The difference...we had fun together. We played. We talked. I listened to their day and shared mine. The stupid TV was off. Engaged in an intense Mamma Mia dance off. Made beautiful memories. I was here and I really was, loving every minute of it!
Extreme Hot Wheels race, leaving massive toy explosion in the dust.
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