Serious case of the fuck its today. Feeling totally overwhelmed and alone. My path does not seem clear in the least. I don't feel like I am getting any insight by doing that next right thing at all. I am struggling with finding peace and gratitude in my now. Today I read, prayed and mediated and still willfully chose path B to escape my discomfort, which of course leaves me with all those feelings of guilt and shame.
My options now...continue to act out my self destruction and sit in my self pity or make a conscious choice to do it different. Turning off this sad sack music will be choice one...Mamma Mia soundtrack, work your magic!