“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, the Big Book)Amazed I am! I remember hearing them read and talked about in meetings when I first came in, thinking I might get that one, but never those other ones. It did not seem possible to not fear, know how to handle my life and the situations in it, trust that a higher power had my back or even gave a shit about me, or get over the past and all the guilt and shame I had associated with it.
This last year, however, has brought with it the fulfillment of each and every one of these promises to my life. It has felt like magic, but I know it can be attributed to my willingness to be willing, to do what it takes, and to try to do things differently.
I would like my goal for the next several days to be to write about how each one of these promises has manifested itself,. What it has looked like to me. We'll see. I might get distracted with other stuff, like life happening.