I'm pretty sure I thought I would never have fun again. Not sober!! I needed at least 3 drinks of the liquid courage to be able to talk to people and at least 10 to do anything as crazy as karaoke or dancing. Bowling? Boring. Lunch with friends? Boring. First dates? Relationships? Sober sex? Scary!! Get some drinks in me though and I was the life of any party. I thought that Me was dead forever the minute I walked through the doors.
What a crazy thought that turned out to be. Today, I can sing my ass off to band hero, dance my ass off at the club, even just hang out with friends and have a fantastic time, all sober. Dating, relationships, sex...check, check, and check.
I have found that this inside job has lead me to self love, resulting in self confidence. Not better than, but right sized. I can definitely still feel less than. I still hate rejection. Most of the time though, I can be okay with being just me, being enough. Wow, how this has let me not care so much what other people think about me. There is such a huge freedom in that. Today, I love my life and I am so grateful for the friends that help to make it that way!!