Not getting what I want and what I think I need, in the time frame I think I want and need it, which is RIGHT NOW!!. (sigh...and a big fat poor me)
The first place I go to is the ginormous, black cave of my self pity. Fuck it's lonely in there, even when I'm not alone. Luckily today, that cave feels so uncomfortable that I don't like to set up camp there for long. Instead, if I am willing to be willing, I reluctantly pick up the new tools in my belt to dig myself out and find the sunlight of the spirit. Go to a meeting. Work with others. Talk about it. Write about it. Surrender it. Get into acceptance and let go. Trust.
The result is not a jump up and down kind of happiness, but a quiet peace and serenity. I can be useful to my fellows in this place, out of that ridiculous place where it is all about me.
The feeling of uselessness and self pity slipping away...