Thursday, September 30, 2010

It's not me, it's you...oh wait.

I got to work today and hated my first table.  Then the next, then the next.  Everyone at work was pissing me off.  Douche Bags...I want to punch you all in your faces!!

The thought started to come to me that it must be me, but I quickly pushed that away.  No!  They really are!

I acted like a baby all day.  Finally got off, way later than I thought I would, rushing very excited to pick up the kids.   That will snap me out of it.  After about 5 minutes, they got added to the list of poeple that were driving me crazy.  It was one of those nights where I had zero patience and couldn't wait to put them into bed.  Now that they are in bed, I will find peace I thought. 

Nope!  Now my cat is acting like an asshole (can't take credit for that line...came from a cool girl I know ♥ ).  Getting in the trash.  Knocking shit over.   

The thought has come back to me that maybe it is me.  After rethinking my day, I am positive that it was my perspective and my unwillingmess to choose to be happy.  My bad attitude was the cause of all those crappy interactions. 

That table that hated me.  The coworker I ignored all day.  The people I snapped at.  My ego driven tantrum.  The children that were driving me crazy.   All could have been so much different.  I got stuck in my head today and made sure that I stayed miserable.   I would say what a wasted day, but it was a good reminder that I am in control of my behavior, my reactions and what I put out into the world.


  1. Little Melissa needs some attention, love and rules. First plenty of attention and love, rules a bit later. Like visiting hours, telling her it is adult time now. Big warm loving hug to Little Melissa.
    Workbook: A gift to myself / heal the inner child (Whitfield)
    Melissa, I have been with Al Anon for over 2 yeras till my trauma therapy started. I know the pain from the other side...
    Love from my heart to yours. Paula

  2. "Now my cat is acting like an asshole." That's funny. I guess we know when every single person, place, or thing we encounter is a jerk, it might be me!

  3. Thanks paula ♥

    Right mary! I usually recognize it by the 3rd person and snap myself out of it...not this day.